Epic Amazon.com reviews: fresh whole rabbit
by Caleb Reading
A real time saver, February 9, 2007
By Elvis_Nixon (Oil Trough, Arkansas)
How many weekends have I spent, in the loincloth, knife clenched in my teeth, running through the fields trying to find a rabbit? (A bunch, trust me on this, a bunch.) All so I can have something to sacrifice on the altar once I get to the cave.
Now, with this, home, fix a cocktail, go through the day’s mail, finish my drink and drive over to the cave, yank this carcass out of the box and offer this at the feet of my dark lord and master, boom, done. I’m happy, my dark lord and master is happy, everybody wins.
What a time saver.
Baal-Hammon rejects it!, December 4, 2007
By V. Zhirinovsky “Vlad the Mad” (Virginia, USA)
I am Director of Unholy Sacrifices for a prominent pagan bloodcult. Since our traditional sacrifical practices have been banned in 189 countries and the moon, we are now allowed only to use animal carcasses purchased on the internet. Let me warn you, Baal-Hammon will NOT be appeased by this offering. The Dark One will only accept sacrifices of mammals larger than a badger. If he is displeased, he will, depending on his mood, incinerate you, disembowel you, or turn you into an American. I hope this review helps, because I incurred his wrath and now live in Virginia.
What a combination, December 8, 2007
By Bill “Bill” (Maryville, TN USA)
While I’m sure the rabbit tastes fine, I have to wonder… why does the part where Amazon shows what people who bought this item also bought display four enema devices and one teeny tiny thong?
I’m kind of horrified.