The dude from Twilight is awesomely insane

by Caleb Reading

Robert Pattinson tells his best story ever (embedded below), and here’s a direct quote:

I just shut my eyes and there’s this like fully-realized, three-dimensional iconogram of Buddha in my head and I sort of looked at it and it was like so real you could almost touch it and it threw these little, the little spinning jack things into my eyes, and I opened my eyes and I knew every single answer to this exam paper.  Every time I shut my eyes afterwards, though, this Buddha was still there for like three months, and I could ask it questions about things and it would always give me the answer the same deal with the jacks or tacks or whatever they’re called.  After about three months, I told someone about it and then I realized I could ask it to do things and affect fate, and it would actually change what happened in the world . . .

If Robert Pattinson were to read Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds script aloud, it would open the Ninth Gate.

[editorial note: Yeah, I know he’s intentionally making up a story, but coming up with that is still awesomely insane.]