Baby Names: A Primer On Parental Cruelty

by Caleb Reading

There are unfortunate baby names (like “I’m a hog“) and then there are stupid baby names:

The following is a catalog of naming questions and suggestions posted on several different baby naming bulletin boards going back as far as early 2001. All entries are left unedited except for length.

Some of the commentary was cracking me up.  In one part of that page she solicits comments on some of the names that don’t have comments yet.  I sent in this:

Dayzunique Tylettrell Deiondrianiece
In a daze, Deion and Adrien’s niece tripped in a bathroom, hit her head on the Tylettrell, and decided that “Unique” just by itself wasn’t a dumb enough name for a kid.

Daanan Blaise
It was a terrible day, worthy of commemorating through nomenclature, when the Yogurt factory burned down.