Patton Oswalt

by Caleb Reading

A quote from the Patton Oswalt special I just saw:

“Hey, I decided to get sober.”
“Yay! Let’s throw you a parade!”

“Hey, I squirted out a kid.”
“Yay! Let’s burn your name onto the surface of the moon!”

“Hey, I know how to stop at two scotches and I don’t have any miniature versions of myself running around ruining the planet.”
“Eh, whatever, Patton.”