My father rules.
My dad and I were talking, and somehow the topic of “people who shouldn’t have kids” came up. He decided to tell me about what he calls his “one good deed for humankind.”
Years ago there was a guy in my town who knocked up three different girls with babies who ended up having severe mental and physical defects. Worse yet, he had no intention of supporting or being around any of his kids, nor did he have any intention of ever using a condom either. One day my dad and this guy were talking, and the guy said his doctor suggested he get a vasectomy. The guy hadn’t made up his mind yet. So my dad says, “Oh, I heard that when you get a vasectomy your dick gets bigger.”
The guy went back into the doctor right away to schedule the procedure.