What the hell kind of name is Rileigh?
by Caleb Reading
The Granite City, Ill., couple are deep into their first week as parents of six babies, three boys and three girls.
Jacob, Joshua, Tyler, Isabella, Madison and Rileigh [WTF?] were born Friday
Like sisters Hannah, 4, and 2-year-old Abigail, the Otten Six were conceived with the help of the fertility drug Gonadotropins.
“They told us we could have multiple births,” Tina Otten said in an interview from her hospital bed. “We never imagined six.”
Here are some comments about this from Fark that I liked:
Victorinox: “Now they just have to graft two more sets of teats on mom and all is rosey.”
SouthpawSlicer: “can we stop breeding for a few seconds until we figure out this whole food/air deal??? /RIP Bill Hicks”
Mad Mark: “Well you know with names like Madison & Rileigh they’re destined to grow up to be exotic dancers.”
Molly Python: “I’m sure they won’t have any trouble supporting the pack. Baby supply companies will probably fall all over themselves in the rush to donate formula, diapers, etc. to the happy family. Sooner or later, they’ll end up on welfare, and my single-mothering [expletive deleted] will be helping to support them. I barely make enough for my son and I, and that’s with us living with my parents. When I realized I couldn’t afford even the one kid, I decided to never have another one. And now they’re going to support eight people, six of them the very expensive kind, on a freakin’ assembler’s salary? Those kids had better hope their parents are Jehovah’s Witnesses, ’cause…Jacob, Joshua, Tyler, Isabella, Madison, Rileigh, Hannah, and Abigail…there is no Santa Claus. Apparently, though, there’s an Easter Bunny that’s more than happy to bring you a basket full o’ babies. Too bad they’re not chocolate ones.”
Catholic turned pagan…blaming the nuns: “jeep44…you are absolutely right. I enjoy supporting welfare idiots on my tax dollars. I think everyone who can’t afford kids should have at least four of them. That way I can go to the foodstamps office surrounded by women with seventy-five dollar hairdos, manicures, “bling”, expensive clothes so new that the [expletive deleted] tags are still on them as they grasp the keys to their new Lexus parked outside with seven kids in it and be told by some bored “social worker” that I make too much money as a short order cook to get any assistance for my three little girls. You are right, overpopulation is not a problem. These children will all grow up to be valuable members of society that enrich all of our existances. Thank you for your enlightenment, now forgive me for leaving, as I must go to WORK.”
Tikifish: “I remember seeing in interview with the parents of sextuplets or some other similarily large gaggle of ‘uplets’ and they were complaining that the free diapers and formula stopped coming after a few months once the interest died down. It was almost like they felt they were owed free baby booty for life just because they reproduced irresponsibly.”
Langtry: “I’m waiting for the ubiquitous “Today Show” appearance, with a fawning Ann Curry or Katie Couric acting like this woman and her husband are heroes.”
Brass-Tacks: “I watched a thing on “Dateline” (or some other news show) recently that dealt with overpopulation. They basically said that there was no overpopulation problem and America has plenty of land left for people to live on. No mention of running out of water, fossil fuel, or just choking on our own garbage. /let’s all put our heads in the sand!”
dewars-rocks: “Sheesh, if they wanted more kids they shoulda asked, I have a teenage boy they coulda got real cheap. And i’m just one state away, I would have delivered.”
fiver-: “Yay! We bred ourselves into a lower standard of living!”
Could_be_raining?: “Who knows, perhaps they applied for adoption and were turned down. Does that prospect scare anyone? If you are deemed not worthy of adoption and have reproduced that often since then what does that say about the state of well being for those children. I have seen no evidence that fertility drugs are given out only to those who are qualified, yet adoption tries to give only those qualified (more) children”
FeistyALgal: “This couple has already set up a HELP FUND. Obviously they can’t afford all those babies.”