Emo Philips quote

by robopanda

“I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said ‘Stop! don’t do it!’

‘Why shouldn’t I?’ he said.

I said, ‘Well, there’s so much to live for!’

He said, ‘Like what?’

I said, ‘Well… are you religious or atheist?’

He said, ‘Religious.’

I said, ‘Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?’

He said, ‘Christian.’

I said, ‘Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?’

He said, ‘Protestant.’

I said, ‘Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?’

He said, ‘Baptist!’

I said, ‘Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist church of god or Baptist church of the lord?’

He said, ‘Baptist church of god!’

I said, ‘Me too! Are you original Baptist church of god, or are you reformed Baptist church of god?’

He said, ‘Reformed Baptist church of god!’

I said, ‘Me too! Are you reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?’

He said, ‘Reformed Baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!’

I said, ‘Die, heretic scum,’ and pushed him off.”

– Emo Philips.

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