Home recipe for Juice Plus vitamins

by Caleb Reading

1) Assemble various fruits of your choice.

2) Take your Ginsu™ knife, and chop them into smaller peices.

3) Place these pieces in the Ronco brand salad shooter™.

4) Place these smaller bits into the Ronco brand dehydrator™.

5) Set it, and fahget it.

6) While you wait apply spraypaint to your bald spot as needed and do crunches with a useless peice of metal you could easily do crunches without.

7) Lay the dehydrated fruit bits on a plastic tarp, then beat them to little bits with the aforementioned useless peice of metal.

8) Take a bottle of metabolife™ and carefully open each pill. Snort contents. Speed works better this way.

9) Place fruit powder inside empty metabolife™ pills. Enjoy.

[DISCLAIMER: do not try this at home. Do it at the neighbor’s.]