How you can use my Disney World experience to save yourself money and bother

 

Don’t go.

 

Well, okay, if you must go, here’s my review:

Euthanize the parents, too, just to be fair

Via timesdispatch:

Maymont’s two black bears were euthanized today after a child was bitten by one of the bears Saturday.
[...]
Brown said there is no way to test for rabies in a live wild animal because brain tissue must be examined. Both bears were euthanized because it was not known which bear bit the child.

The child entered a restricted area and climbed a four-foot fence to reach the bears’ two-acre habitat. The child apparently then put his or her hand through a 10-foot chain-link fence and was bitten.

Maymont officials do not know the identity, age or gender of the child, Brown said. However, they were informed in a closed-door meeting this morning that the skin on the child’s right hand had been broken and the rabies test was necessary.

And where were the parents when the kid entered a restricted area, then climbed a fence, then reached through another fence to play “Poke the Bear”?

And couldn’t they have given the kid oral rabies meds [Ed - correction below]? It’s not the painful shots in the stomach it used to be. They could just give the kid pills. No, no, vivisect two locally beloved bears instead. The parents might sue otherwise.

Some strange purchases with Katrina funds

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0214061katrina1.html?obvious

Here’s the full list, if you don’t want to visit the link:

$1300 for a hand gun
$1200 at a strip club
$1100 for an engagement ring
$1000 at a casino
$1000 as a bail bond payment
$700 to pay off traffic tickets
$450 for a tattoo
$400 at a massage parlor (happy ending?)
$200 for alcoholic beverages
$150 for “adult erotica products”

I’ve stolen an old joke and rewrote it, and now I’m inflicting it on everyone.

What do you call it when Dick Cheney shoots a lawyer?

A good start.

*rimshot*

Fox shows pastor blaming athiests for burnings

Well, it was only a matter of time before the “liberal” media decided it wouldn’t hurt their ratings too much to blame athiests for the 9 churches that have been set on fire in Alabama.

Via newshounds.us:

The statement that they put out was concise and from one pastor. The pastor uttered the word, “atheist” and Fox ran with it.

I don’t know how edited the statement was but Fox found it important to get it out there. Pastor James Posey of the Star Missionary Church said, “This is not going to stop God’s work. Now, you can be an atheist if you want to. You’re going to find out that that is going to be to no avail. Because, God is in control.”

Police and FBI have been collecting evidence such as footprints and tire tracks. What they came up with is a dark or black SUV, possibly a Nissan Pathfinder with two white men in it. This vehicle with the possible suspects has been seen at several of the church fires. Liliegren said that officials think it is local and that the motivation is hate.
[...]
I think I know what message they want their audience to get, but shouldn’t a news service do a little more digging? Why is the word ‘atheist’ the only one offered in this segment? Should not the fact that the police are looking for a dark SUV with two white men in it and the fact that African American Churches are being targeted offer some other explanations as to what the motives might be? I’m no detective, but doesn’t race enter into anyone’s minds? At least it should be considered. CNN offered that the motivation might be race, it might be religion or it could be something else. Fox gave you their key word, atheist.

Since it’s two men that are suspects what are the odds Fox will eventually start hinting that they’re gay lovers, too?

If you give the idiot a quarter . . .

Somebody on another site said this:

I bet a lot of girls would think twice about kids if they didn’t have a safety net waiting for them.

Below is my reply, which I decided to post here also:

I’d take your bet. I grew up in a town heavily populated with medicaid users. I’d bet a lot of girls don’t think once, let alone twice, about kids, safety net or no. There’d just be more babies in dumpsters and kids entering public schools with malnourishment-related permanent mental handicaps.

And people can call me a jerk for saying this, but I’m all for birth control being a condition of getting welfare. I’m also all for extending benefits to the childless for a change. I know all too well from working in a drug store that there are millions of young people out there who don’t have a hope in hell of going to community college or getting health coverage and help into habitat home until they start having kids they can’t afford. Oh, then they suddenly deserve a hand-up. But if they’re reproductively responsible? Not a chance. They can just die in the gutter for all our government cares.

Stupid people are going to have kids with or without a safety net. It’s the ones who fell on bad times after having all their kids and the ones smart enough not to have kids they can’t afford that would probably make the most out of the tiniest help extended to them. And yet we keep throwing money at the stupidest ones and complaining that they do something stupid afterwards. Well duh. An idiot with an empty hand doesn’t become a genius when you put a quarter in his hand. Now he’s just an idiot with a quarter. Soon to be an idiot with a gum ball.

NASA isn’t telling both halves of the “debate”

Via cosmicvariance.

So Bush decided to appoint a 24-year-old high-level campaign worker with no background in science to NASA. His background consists of a journalism degree and time served in the “war room” of the Bush/Cheney campaign. Then <insert fake shock here> this happens:

In October 2005, Mr. Deutsch sent an e-mail message to Flint Wild, a NASA contractor working on a set of Web presentations about Einstein for middle-school students. The message said the word “theory” needed to be added after every mention of the Big Bang.

The Big Bang is “not proven fact; it is opinion,” Mr. Deutsch wrote, adding, “It is not NASA’s place, nor should it be to make a declaration such as this about the existence of the universe that discounts intelligent design by a creator.”

It continued: “This is more than a science issue, it is a religious issue. And I would hate to think that young people would only be getting one-half of this debate from NASA. That would mean we had failed to properly educate the very people who rely on us for factual information the most.”

Maybe NASA isn’t telling both halves of the “debate” because for people who actually have a background in science there is no debate. And would someone please explain to all employees of NASA what the word “theory” frickin’ means.

Gary Busey and Billy Zane have lost their minds

http://apnews1.iwon.com/article/20060203/D8FHL1Q81.html

ISTANBUL, Turkey (AP) – In the most expensive Turkish movie ever made, American soldiers in Iraq crash a wedding and pump a little boy full of lead in front of his mother.

They kill dozens of innocent people with random machine gun fire, shoot the groom in the head, and drag those left alive to Abu Ghraib prison – where a Jewish doctor cuts out their organs, which he sells to rich people in New York, London and Tel Aviv.

“Valley of the Wolves Iraq” – set to open in Turkey on Friday – feeds off the increasingly negative feelings many Turks harbor toward their longtime NATO allies: Americans.
[...]
The movie’s American stars are Billy Zane, who plays a self-professed “peacekeeper sent by God,” and Gary Busey as the Jewish-American doctor.